"Most people don’t realise that Stroke is a Brain Injury and needs to be treated as such. I should know!
On the 9th December 2021 my life partner, beloved husband and number one marathon supporter, Simon, had a stroke that left him paralysed down his left hand side. It was quite a severe stroke caused by previously diagnosed high blood pressure, which he took medicine for and was prevalent in his family. Despite those factors this was still a total shock and totally unexpected, Simon was a sportsman and keen cyclist, doing on average of 100 miles a week and achieving some great long distance rides including Hull to Paris via Dover! Gravel cycling was his new love and new adventures were being planned.
Simon and I met in 2008 and will celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary this August. The last 14 years have been a constant round of making treasured memories. But the last five months have been a real challenge for both of us, I was close to losing him. This article is to share our experiences and help others in a similar position.
The biggest problem with stroke is that the person goes from being well to being to suffering a disability straight away. In the UK each year there are around 150,000 strokes and 1.2 million stroke survivors at any one time. It is the 4th leading cause of death and the first cause of disability. The average age for stroke is 74 in men and 80 in women, 38% of patients who suffer a stroke are aged between 40 and 69 and 1 in 6 men and 1 in 5 women will have a stroke in their lifetime. Stroke is big. Despite this it is not well understood by the general public. For families and friends who know a stroke victim the main source of information is the internet. There is a very good book “Had a Stroke? Now What?” By Tom Balchin.
My advice is to find out as much as you can to keep yourself safe and be ready for friends and family who suffer one. It is vital that victims of stroke get the best rehab available. In our experience Stroke Recovery beds are not plentiful. We were lucky with Simon. After spending a week in Hull Royal Infirmary Stroke Ward I managed to get him a bed in Rossmore Stroke Rehab Home where he spent 3 months. He is now at our home on his next stage of recovery. Our shared love and talking things over in an honest and meaningful way has ensured we remained strong during this period and has allowed me to understand how he feels. When stroke hits you it hits hard especially as a couple - it was like I had the stroke too! Progress was good thanks to hard and dedicated work by the Hospital and the rehab physiotherapists and nursing team. We will be forever thankful for the work and care they gave Simon. Taking him from somebody who had to be lifted into a chair using a sling to a person who could stand independently and make that important return home. None of this takes away from the fact I had to watch my husband , the man I love, take in the fact he couldn’t walk or use his left hand and arm . That is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Trying to be positive whilst seeing somebody suffering is heart breaking as many of us will probably get to know.
Fortunately unlike a lot of stroke sufferers Simon did not lose the power of speech and was quite lucid. This meant we could still talk. But I could see the stroke had a major effect on him psychologically. As with all medical events like stroke it is really important to keep the individual strong and positive. Simon is working with paid for consultants and friends on his physio and I am concentrating on our home life getting him back into a normal routine, socialising, making things as pleasant and stress free as possible. One thing we have learnt from all this is to understand and talk about how the other person feels physically and mentally. We are trying to live as normal a life as possible in very difficult circumstances but with our efforts and the help of friends and family things are getting easier. It is the genuine help that others give us that helps immeasurably. Which just goes to show the best way to get through this is by accepting the support of others, the voluntary support friends and family give and professional advice that comes with the NHS or that you have to pay for. We found that there was a need to go down the private route for physiotherapy for additional support on discharge home.
So as part of Action for Brain Injury week this is our stroke story to date. We are hoping Simon will recover well and currently the signs are good. It will always be a dark time in our lives but one we will be able to look back on. Never give up hope with stroke, the initial state you find yourself in is not permanent, with hard work and medical assistance you can return to mobility and have a better quality of life. Whilst we aren’t fully there yet we plan to be".
Thank you Linda for this contribution to Action for Brain Injury Week.
If you or a friend or family member is suffering brain injury, for more information about the support SJP can provide call us today on 01482 316756 to speak to our team.
